Funny texts between parents and their children – Thanks to Readers Digest

Texts between parents and their children

 

Me: Dad, my bank account has ten dollars in it!
Dad: Oh good, our plan to get you to contact us succeeded

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Me: I was offered a job!
Dad: Accept it before they realize their mistake.

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Me: Lets eat dad
Dad: “Let’s eat Dad” or “Let’s eat, Dad.” Punctuation saves lives.

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Me: I love you
Mom: I tolerate you

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Mom: I think I keep getting messages or missed calls or something.
Me: From who?
Mom: Some woman called…Betty Low?
Me: Um, battery low?
Mom: Yeah, that’s it!

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Me: What time are you picking me up?
Dad: Who is this?
Me: Your son.
Dad: How did you get this number?
Me: I programmed your phone, remember?
Dad: How do I delete people?

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Me: Can I borrow 50 bucks?
Mom: You don’t call to say hi, you didn’t call on my birthday. All you ever call for is money!
Me: 40 bucks?
Mom: OK.

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Me: Hey!
Dad: Aren’t you supposed to be at school?
Me: Aren’t you supposed to be at work?
Dad: Touché …

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Me: Happy 49th, Dad! I love you so much!
Dad: It’s 48! You ruined my day.

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Mom: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I’m lonely.
Isn’t Dad there?
Mom: Yes, but I like you more.