Posted by: braddenvillage | December 13, 2014

Funny Christmas Quotes – For Christmas 2014

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Funny Christmas Quotes!!

Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup: Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.
– Wendy Cope
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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
– P.J. O’Rourke
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included”.
– Bernard Manning
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That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.
– Jerry Seinfeld
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
– Victor Borge
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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
– Phyllis Diller
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Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
– Ogden Nash
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
– Shirley Temple
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Once again, we come to the holiday season – a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
– Dave Barry
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
– Jay Leno
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
– George Carlin
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Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… Or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.
– Sean Hughes
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I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
– Steven Wright
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The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
– Joan Rivers

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